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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22661287">Paper Planes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyyuchoi/pseuds/babyyuchoi'>babyyuchoi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nct fics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Airplane Crashes, Airplanes, Airports, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:27:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22661287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyyuchoi/pseuds/babyyuchoi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hyung, what is happening?" Jisung asks, his voice high pitched and nervous. The others nod and agree with his question, waiting for a response. </p>
<p>"Does this have to do with that flight that crashed? We got the notification." Jaemin asked quietly, his voice not more than a whisper. There were a few gasps, and Chenle's hand flew over his gaping mouth, to keep from screaming. There was no way-</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Silence enveloped the room and everyone paled, blood draining from their faces. No one spoke, waiting for the joke, waiting for someone to say, "just kidding." Only it never came. </p>
<p>"Please tell me that's a joke. Because that's not funny. At all." Johnny says, voice strained. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry." Is all Yeonjun can whisper into the silence.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>With reports of an airline crash, no one knows what is happening. Supposedly Taeyong, Mark, Ten and Yukhei were on the flight that crashed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten &amp; Qian Kun, Kim Jungwoo &amp; Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan &amp; Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Mark Lee &amp; Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nct fics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1274855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>185</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Korean Air Flight 81</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Johnny fidgeted with his tie, thrumming his hands against his thigh as him, Jaehyun and Doyoung made their way to the VLIVE Awards. It felt weird, without all of the members. Honestly, it had been weird for a while. Jungwoo was still new to the group, but he had fit in so well with the members. It wasn't like they had never met him before he had debuted, but he definitely spent more time with them, now that he was moved into their dorm and a permanent member of 127.</p>
<p>Jaehyun was casually browsing through his phone, chuckling every so often while Doyoung was asleep in the backseat, his air pods resting in his ears. None of them were really sure what to expect, their managers just told them they had to be in attendance. </p>
<p>Upon arrival at the red carpet, Johnny was abruptly taken from his thoughts and thrown into flashes of cameras and screaming fans. He tried his best to put on a smile, even if he wasn't really feeling it. He made small talk with the other idols, while they were getting seated, but tried his best to stay close to Doyoung and Jaehyun. His two dongsaengs were doing a much better job at fan service that he was. Sue him. He missed Jungwoo. And Mark. And Taeyong. He wasn't exactly sure why Taeil couldn't have joined them, or Yuta, but he learned early on, not to questions these sorts of things. </p>
<p>Donghyuck was currently killing it at the Dream Show, and Johnny couldn't have been prouder. It had been fun, going to watch their show and he was pleasantly surprised that Kun and Xiaojun were attending as well. Johnny wasn't too well acquainted with Xiaojun, but out of all the new rookies, his Korean was the best, and often translated for Hendery and Yang Yang. He had sat next to Doyoung who had been more excited than Johnny had ever seen him before. The sole reason being Jeno, his self-proclaimed baby was performing. </p>
<p>They were told to keep their distance from Kun and Xiaojun, a manager separating them as they sat. Johnny wanted to question it, but grimaced and did as he was told. It had been so long since he had seen Kun, but in their short interaction, it was clear the boy was doing well. Johnny knew full well the burdens of being a leader (Taeyong was one of his closest friends, after all) but he was glad to hear from Kun (and Xiaojun as well) that he was doing great. Johnny was again broken from his train of thought when "NCT 127" was being announced, followed by a large cheer. </p>
<p>He was surprised when their name was called for Global Artist, Top 12, but pleased all the same. They had worked hard this year, and had fought SM for a lot of their successes this year. He followed Doyoung and Jaehyun to the podium to receive their award and give a short speech. He made sure to bow fully and accept the award with two hands, something he often forgot to do (American culture was just different, okay?) </p>
<p>They were ushered to another place to sit, now that they had an award. It was closer to the fan barriers and still quite empty, as the night was still just beginning. It was going to be a long night. Much to his surprise, however, the fan interactions they had with the girls sitting closest to them were quite nice. It was a relief from the sasaengs that had been relentlessly following Jaehyun around. Johnny couldn't help but burst out laughing when one of the girls was yelling about how Jeno (and Jaemin) had taken off their shirts at their concert earlier. Doyoung's face was priceless, and Johnny couldn't stop laughing. Jaehyun looked mildly scandalized, while Doyoung turned to Johnny, his expression aghast. </p>
<p>"Jeno?" Doyoung's silently exclaimed. Johnny knew Doyoung spent the rest of the night planning his scolding speech to Jeno when they returned to the dorms. Despite being of age, they would always be babies, in need of extra love and attention from their hyungs, whether they wanted it or not. Johnny could barely imagine having more kids to take care of, once the year ended.</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Taeyong woke to arguing. Ten was being shouted at from his phone, presumably on FaceTime. He recognized the voice that is yelling at him as Doyoung, wondering what could've possibly happened in the, Taeyong checked the clock on his phone, 45 minutes he was asleep. They had gone out for breakfast early in the morning to avoid fans and instead of staying in Manhattan, they took the subway all the way down to Brooklyn. They ate, walked around and Mark was excited to show the rest of the NCT members the house where they had stayed during their tour earlier in the year. </p>
<p>They had returned to the Air B&amp;B they were staying at this time around just before eleven and were hanging out until their flight departed in a mere couple of hours. Their managers were running around, finalizing flight info and Taeyong felt slightly bad, Taejun seemed really stressed out. Taeyong didn't really know why him and Mark were flying back to Korea only to fly back to New York in 3 days, since he was sure that the cheaper option was them staying in a hotel for a few nights, but he learned not to question it, and simply made sure everyone was ready to go at the appointed time.</p>
<p>From what he could tell, Ten had stolen some clothing item from Doyoung and lost it. Doyoung wasn't very keen on sharing clothes. Taeyong knew that Ten was feeling bad, since his replies had no bite in them and he was letting Doyoung yell at him with no reprieve. He couldn't really make out anything Doyoung was saying, since he was yelling so loud and then the sound abruptly cut off, so Taeyong assumed Doyoung had hung up on him.</p>
<p>Ah, Taeyong remembered now. It was Chicago. Ten had been stressing in the airport, before they left for Atlanta over losing a sweatshirt. In all the fuss and fans in the airport, he must have dropped it and Ten was going crazy trying to find it. He had kept repeating, "It wasn't mine, it wasn't mine" to the managers who tried to get him to relax. Ten had spent their whole flight trying to remember the brand of the sweatshirt and ordered a new one for the owner. Two new ones, in two different colors as an apology. </p>
<p>Taeyong knew that Doyoung would get over it. He knew that Doyoung would also feel bad once Ten told him he had ordered two replacement sweatshirts instead of just one. He was just very protective over his personal items, and Ten had a habit of stealing clothes from the taller members. Ten deflated on the couch, looking troubled. He put his air pods in and rolled over, facing the back of the couch he way laying on. His figure shook a little and Taeyong guessed he was crying. He didn't want to pry, because he knew Ten would be embarrassed, but his heart broke a little bit for his brother, who had never been good at confrontation despite his combative and sassy personality. </p>
<p>Mark seemed to be on the phone with someone, or rather facetime. Unlike Ten, he had had his headphones in the whole time, so Taeyong could only hear his side of the conversation. Mark's phone was a Samsung Galatical 10 or something (Taeyong couldn't remember the name, all he knew is that if Mark messed up one more group chat, he was buying the kid an iPhone) and he was currently using wired earbuds that probably belonged to Johnny. His conversation was in English, so that limited the amount of people it could be. By the way he was talking and the amount of times he had burst out laughing in the past 5 minutes, Taeyong guessed it was Johnny (with a 20% chance it was Jaehyun). He knew that among the NCT members in Super M, Johnny was one of the most missed members. </p>
<p>He had this way about him, that made everyone feel at ease, and comfortable. It was so easy to unload all your burdens on him, because he looked at you with such care and he loved so fiercely and powerfully. Taeyong wasn't exactly sure how Ten and Johnny got close, or rather stayed so close. Their schedules were always so different, and since SM Rookies, they rarely had any schedules together. But Ten was constantly talking about Johnny, or their monthly dinners, which used to be weekly dinners before Ten had been sent to China for WayV promotions and more likely than not, it was Johnny texting Ten non-stop, if not the WayV group chat, where Taeyong knew the younger kids loved to send memes and nonsense. </p>
<p>Mark had been close to Johnny since SM Rookies as well. His Korean was not as strong, so he clung to Johnny, relying on him for translations and teaching. They almost exclusively spoke English while together, a comfort each of them could only find in each other. After Super M's Ellen interview, Mark immediately called Johnny for reassurance. He wasn't used to being the only fluent English speaker, and was nowhere near as easy-going and charismatic as Johnny in front of the cameras. Mark still shied away from too much attention. </p>
<p>Xuxi and Johnny were another level. They really only saw each other for the shooting of NCT Life when Xuxi had first joined, and for Black on Black promotions. They occassionally ran into each other in the company building, and practice rooms, but their dorms were on a different floor and Xuxi had been spending a lot of time in China recently. But Johnny still went out of his way to care for the younger, who was not confident in any language he spoke, so Johnny took the time to try and help him with English and Korean as much as he could. </p>
<p>And to Taeyong, Johnny was… well Johnny was one of his only same age friends, as well as a caring older brother. Being almost 8 months older than Taeyong, Johnny was a mix of friend and hyung, but in all ways, was someone Taeyong could always rely on. He helped out with responsibilities, and making sure the younger members were looked after, and when Taeyong was stress cleaning into the early hours of the morning, Johnny would silently join him, so he had some company and could get things done a little faster so he could sleep a little bit more. He was endlessly positive, always optimistic, the pillar of support Taeyong (as the leader) and Taeil (as the oldest) needed, attentive to the needs of everyone around him (including managers and staff), he was their shoulder to cry on, and as Donghyuck had once put it, "[He was] the most hyung-like hyung" for the all the members. </p>
<p>Johnny was his saving grace. Having to initially debut without Johnny by his side, was one of the hardest things he has ever had to do. It was lonely and difficult being the leader with no one next to him. Taeyong had difficulties attending to all 15 member's different needs, 18 when Jungwoo, Kun and Lucas joined shortly after and now 21, with Yang Yang, Hendery and Xiaojun. Johnny united the group, and no matter the unit or language barrier, everyone felt comfortable around him. </p>
<p>He took on burdens he didn't have to, but he did because he wanted to help Taeyong bear the burden of 21 members. He could pick up on members moods and needs easier than Taeyong did, as a natural 6th sense, whereas Taeyong had to train himself to read other's moods and Johnny was constantly making sure they were well fed, well hydrated, well-loved and not too homesick. He wasn't as great a cook as Taeyong or Doyoung, but he always went out of his way to make Chinese food for Sicheng, Chenle and Renjun, and would take Lucas and Ten out for Thai food whenever he could. A little bit of home went a long way.</p>
<p>From what Taeyong could understand, Mark was telling Johnny about their time in Chicago, Virginia and New York, the places where he and Ten hung out together the most. Ten liked to keep things bottled in, and didn't share often over the phone, so Taeyong could only imagine that Mark was doing his best to update Johnny on his best friend's condition. </p>
<p>Xuxi looked to be sleeping, slumped over in a chair. It looked awfully uncomfortable, but any attempt to move him would wake him, and the poor boy definitely needed rest. It had been a miracle that all the boys had been healthy for the first half of the tour, despite Taemin being slightly under the weather at one point, but slowly, Xuxi was looking paler and hollowed out. Ten would have to keep an eye on it. It was hard for Yukhei to go from rare public schedules to intensive training and hours of interviews every day. It was taking a toll on his physical and mental health, so Taeyong was glad he was allowed some rest before returning to China. </p>
<p>So far, all he knew of, was one music show performance and a fan meeting. Neither were particularly draining, just time consuming and maybe a little nerve wracking. But it meant an OK sleep schedule for the week and lots of snacks to keep up sugar and energy levels. Taeyong only wished the best for his members. It was hard to keep tabs on all of them when half of them were in another country.</p>
<p>Taeyong's head whipped around the room, looking for more members when he only counted four. Right three. He was with the SuperM NCT members, he needn't worry about the other sixteen members at the moment. They were all safely back in Korea, being looked after by their other managers and each other. The Dreamies had just had their shows, and their EXO hyungs were having their annual concerts over in Indonesia. So far, the year had been full of successes. Taeyong looked around the room again, just to be sure. Xuxi in the chair- one, Ten on the couch- two and Mark across from him- three. Three out of three, all present and accounted for. Good.</p>
<p>They were loading into the vans, ready to head to the airport when they were told they would be taking a different flight back to Korea. Since Lee Sooman had come to their Virginia show and stayed for their New York show, he offered them to fly back with him, on a private jet. He originally wasn't scheduled to leave for another couple of days, but a change in schedule allowed him to fly back at the same time as the members. There was no way they would say no to that offer, despite having to scrub their Korean Air flight tickets. Although, Taeyong supposes, they wouldn't have to deal with fans creating chaos in the airport this way. It was less of a headache for them as well as their managers, who were always concerned for safety and privacy in airports. </p>
<p>Jongin, Baekhyun and Taemin had taken a flight to India the night before, due to schedules, since they had their EXplOration concert in Jakarta in a mere 2 days, while the NCT members of Super M had a little more relaxed time in getting ready and heading back home. They all saw the picture of their senior members at the airport, and Taeyong is glad none of them have to go through that. It was mobbed and there was so much screaming. Xuxi was prone to headaches, and airports were his worst nightmare. </p>
<p>Taeyong wished they had more time to spend in the city, despite there not being much of a difference between Seoul and New York (other than the fact, Seoul is much nicer and cleaner), there was just something about being in New York that made him feel good. It was fun to walk around and explore. He had found a jacket for Jaehyun in Soho that was definitely over-priced, but he knew it would suit Jaehyun so well. </p>
<p>He knew Mark had been enjoying himself, proudly showing off his English to interviewers and fans, and he knew that Mark used to live in New York, so it held sentimental value to all of them, since it was a special place for their maknae. He would've liked to walk the streets of Soho once more, go down to Brooklyn and the lower east side to see the wall murals, and have a chance to sneak off into Chelsea Market unseen by hundreds of fans, but he supposed, him and Mark would be back by next week, for 127 schedules, so their time in America is not over yet. Their schedules were packed and hectic, and Taeyong was longing to promote in Korea, feeling their fans had not seen much of them. He would have to cherish this time in America, before they were back in Korea for an unspecified amount of time.</p>
<p>It had been a while since the NCT members had been together, in fact, Taeyong wasn't sure that all twenty one members had ever been all together before, but with the recent release of Moonwalk from their Chinese members, all twenty one members were in Korea. Yukhei was especially excited to see his Chinese members again, where he could freely speak and express himself. Taeyong felt bad, Yukhei's ments were always short and in English, because as poor as his English was, it was still better than his Korean, and none of the translators for the concerts spoke Chinese. Ten had volunteered to translate for Yukhei, but Yukhei felt too embarrassed to speak in Chinese when he was the only one. At least Ten was practically fluent in Korean and English. </p>
<p>Mark had taken to trying to be Yukhei's language teacher in the US, while Yukhei admired and loved Ten, he found it easier to learn from the native speaker who was also his same age friend. Mark had bought him books and constantly helped him practice on planes and in the cars on the way to shows. </p>
<p>Their new flight didn't leave until a few hours later, so they shuffled back into the air b&amp;b to rest a little while longer. Taeyong flopped onto the couch, pulling out his phone to text their NCT group chat about the change in plans. He glanced over to see Ten already asleep, curled up in one of the arm chairs, while Xuxi and Mark looked to be playing Call of Duty together on their phones. Xuxi always knew how to bring out the child in Mark, letting him relax. Three members, he counted again, just to be sure. Good. </p>
<p>He tried sending messages through their iMessage chat, only for it be bounced right back, and angry red exclamation point staring back at him, with the words "not delivered" splayed underneath his message. He tried again, only for the same thing to occur. He thought nothing of it, and switched over to their KakaoTalk chat, only for the same thing to occur. Taeyong locked his phone and placed it on the coffee table next to him. There was no use, he'd ask Mark or Ten to text them before they took off. Surely their managers would communicate the change in plans with each other as well. </p>
<p>When they finally arrived at the private hanger just after 3 in the afternoon, everyone took a breath. There were no screaming fans or excessive flashing cameras, only the small number of hired security, and the private airline staff, who were fueling the jet, and loading their luggage. A miracle. Taeyong had never seen Xuxi smile in an airport before. It was suddenly occurring to Taeyong that they would not be on their specialized Korean Air plane, with their faces plastered on it, and the thought made Taeyong slightly sad. They were all proud of their accomplishment and were excited to experience the plane, but he supposed with the growth of 127, and the continuation of the SuperM tour in January, there would be ample opportunity to ride their plane. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Doyoung was lounging in his room with their manager, Yeonjun, freshly showered and dressed for the day, when he received an emergency notification on his phone. He was still a little peeved at Ten, but he felt bad when after their fight Ten had send him a text saying sorry with a sad face. Ten never expressed such feelings, so he knew he was feeling bad. Maybe Doyoung had been a little too harsh. In Doyoung's defense, Ten had facetimed him at almost 2 in the morning, after having been in deep sleep for at last three hours by the time the first ring, so he was already a little grumpy at being woken up, but there was a heaviness weighing on Doyoung's heart, making him feel lazy and disinterested in everything around him. He knew he had to resolve his issues with Ten if he wanted the feeling to pass. </p>
<p>It was now just before 10, and 127 were lounging in the dorms. They didn't have anything to do, until Taeyong and Mark arrived, but Doyoung was going to go out and eat lunch with some of the Dream members, congratulating them on their concert (and to scold Jeno and Jaemin for being so brash, and make sure they knew they were worth more than their body.) He still couldn't believe that his kids did such a thing. He wasn't exactly sure when their two missing members were arriving, but he was sure they weren't coming until the next day, or even the day after. If he recalled correctly, Mark had mentioned them flying out of California within the next day or so. </p>
<p>Without thinking, he tapped on the banner and it brought him to a news page. He scanned the headline, "Incheon-bound flight Crashes Mid-Flight out of JFK", vaguely registering that JFK was the New York airport and scrolling through the article. There wasn't much, only a couple sentences, with little to no detail listed. He decided that he would look up more information about the flight when more information became available. He knew that if it had just occurred, everything up until this point would be speculation and was not to be trusted. </p>
<p>Doyoung turned his attention back to his SNS and scrolling through their twitter, distracted thoroughly. He had gone from cat videos on YouTube, to finding memes of Donghyuck on twitter (he had to admit, their fans were creative) and finding this video of Jeno (and Jaemin) shirtless. It had been a few days since the concert, but Doyoung had to mentally prepare himself to watch the video, he wasn't sure his old heart could take it. He was beginning to prepare a few curt words for the younger, 'You're a baby' being the primary phrase rolling through his head.</p>
<p>He was handed a package by his manager, that he had found at the door. Doyoung didn't remember ordering anything but after taking one quick look at box, he immediately felt guilty. It was from the same company as the sweatshirt Ten had said he lost. He should've let Ten speak, he should've been more rational and accepted his apology the first time. Ten had never done anything to intentionally hurt another member, and Doyoung was sure he never would. He set his phone aside and opened the package. </p>
<p>Sure enough, it's the same hoodie that Ten lost, in the same exact, limited edition color, and not only that, there's another sweatshirt underneath it, in a baby blue that Doyoung vaguely remembers mentioning in passing, ages ago, that he liked. Immediately Doyoung went to call Ten to apologize profusely and maybe cry, but the facetime gets automatically rejected. He was hurt for a moment, but figured he deserved it. He knew he had made Ten cry and Ten was never one to dish out emotions all that easily. He knew he should give Ten some space, but he couldn't just not say anything in apology. </p>
<p>It was an ugly feeling, blooming in his chest, that he so desperately wanted to get rid of. One of hurt, disappointment and self-deprecation, that was all directed towards himself. People often threw the comment that Jaehyun was like a statue, with no emotion, but the same had been said about Doyoung many times, along with words such as snarky, rude and abrupt, and the comments had never bothered him more, than they did in that moment. He felt all those things and worse. It had been a sweatshirt. When did he become so petty? The longing, the urge, the need, this imploring force begging him to apologize to Ten, to his brother, to clear the air was pulsing through his veins, and Doyoung had never been more regretful, to let Ten board a flight, angry and sad, with no way of reconciliation. </p>
<p>Doyoung tried to send him a text to receive hopefully before he got on the plane, but it too, did not go through, an angry red exclamation point staring back at him, with the letters 'not delivered' plastered underneath it. He tried KakaoTalk next, only for that message to bounce back as well. Did Ten block him? Doyoung made a frustrated whine as he kept trying to send his messages. Yeonjun lifted his head in question, and assured Doyoung not to worry when he explained his frustration. None of his messages had gone through either. Something nagged at him, that none of their messages were going through, but he shoved it down to guilt. He'd just try again later. Maybe Ten didn't want to talk to him, Doyoung thought, but that was a hard pill to swallow. </p>
<p>Doyoung sighed, not wanting the guilt to eat away at him, so he went back to looking up the video of Jeno ripping off his shirt. He didn't know if he could still call Jeno his son. He was again snapped out of his searching by a notification from Chenle. Normally, he would ignore it, usually if it were the Dreamies, it was to the group chat, but this text was sent to him alone, so he opened the message and read, "Hyung, no one else knows! What time does Mark's flight land?" Doyoung didn't know why Chenle expected him to know flight details, but since their manager was just hanging out on his bed for the moment, Doyoung asks, "Hyung, what is Mark's flight?" Their manager grunted, shifting around and pulling out a file. </p>
<p>"Taemin should've arrived by now, hours ago actually. I think his manager mentioned him and Jisungie having lunch or dinner together today. Let's see, and Mark lands after eight, tonight. Korean Air flight 81 into Incheon. They should've left New York about 5 hours ago." He read off a paper, while glancing at his watch.</p>
<p>Doyoung paled. They were already on their flight back? Weren't they leaving tomorrow? Did the plans change? Did he hear wrong? They were on their way back to Incheon, and they left from New York? New York's international John F. Kennedy airport? That one? The one that just-? Doyoung didn't want to finish that thought. It was too terrible. The feeling he tried to squash earlier was back in full force, and Doyoung forced the question out of his mouth. </p>
<p>"They left from New York, not California?" As Yeonjun nods, Doyoung is already looking back at his phone, searching Naver for more articles. Swallowing a gasp Doyoung hastily flipped through his open applications, looking for the news article. There was a new article, posted 2 minutes ago, that Doyoung did not hesitate to open.</p>
<p>"Hyung." His mouth goes dry. "Supposedly, a Korean Air flight has crashed on its way from New York to Incheon. The only flight leaving at such a time, could be Korean Air flight 81, out of the John F. Kennedy Airport. We do not yet know whether it was engine failure or pilot error. When information gets confirmed we will update you." Doyoung reads silently to himself. </p>
<p>The words "Korean Air flight 81" are glaring at him angrily on the screen and Doyoung feels like throwing up. So he does. He runs to their bathroom just to throw up everything he ate for breakfast, abandoning his phone on the bed. Taeyong, baby Mark and Lucas, and Ten. The Ten he had yet at furiously this morning for stealing his sweatshirt and losing it in Chicago. The Ten he said horrible words to and hung up on mere hours ago. The same Ten who had not only replaced the sweatshirt, but bought him two just as an apology. Doyoung vomits again. Yeonjun looks up surprised when Doyoung sprints to that bathroom and is concerned at the sound of him throwing up. He glances at the phone Doyoung discarded on the bed and picks it up. Suddenly he feels like vomiting too. </p>
<p>Yeonjun grabbed his phone calling Dream's manager and sprinted to the other dorm, choosing the 5 flights of stairs over the elevator. He curtly told everyone to meet down on the 5th floor, before sprinting back down. He helped Doyoung clean himself up, giving him a water bottle and he tried his best to comfort him in any way he could. There was really nothing he could do, except stare on as soulless as Doyoung must feel, waiting for the others to arrive. He's on the phone again as Dream bursts in the dorm, laughing and smiling, not expecting the atmosphere to be so tense. </p>
<p>Taemin arrived with Dream, Jisung on his back, blushing like a mad man. He had promised Jisung lunch after their filming together months ago, and only now were finding the time. Taemin had grown fond of Jisung, after dancing together and getting to know him on the show. There was something endearing about the 17 year old and something so alluring about his passion and motivation in dance. They both expected the meeting to be short, but when they sensed the atmosphere, Taemin had suggested he return later. Yeonjun shook his head and told Taemin to stay. He was their bandmate too, technically and deserved to hear this from them, and not the news. </p>
<p>The rest of the group members arrived with the managers, who are all on their phones, waiting for any and all news they can get. Everyone but Doyoung seemed to not know what was going on. </p>
<p>With the air thick, no one dared cut the tension, seeing all five managers with such little composure left. Before relaying the news Yeonjun tried calling Taejun, one of the managers currently with the Super M members, only to be directed straight to voicemail. He sighed, shaking his head at the other managers in the room, not sure what to say. </p>
<p>"Hyung, what is happening?" Jisung asks, his voice high pitched and nervous. The others nod and agree with his question, waiting for a response. </p>
<p>"Does this have to do with that flight that crashed? We got the notification." Jaemin asked quietly, his voice not more than a whisper. There were a few gasps, and Chenle's hand flew over his gaping mouth, to keep from screaming. There was no way-</p>
<p>"We don't have all the details yet, nothing more has been said on the matter, but…" Yeonjun trailed off, his voice failing, so Jeongbeom continued, "We don't want you guys finding this out from people other than us. There have been reports of a plane crash. Supposedly a Korean-Air flight has crashed… mid-flight. They're saying i-i-i-it-it was the flight that-that Mark, Taeyong, Yukhei and Ten were on. We don't have all the information yet, and it hasn't been confirmed by the airline yet, but all the headlines are reporting this, and we want you guys to know what's going on before anyone else can spread rumors. But we really don't know anything yet."</p>
<p>Silence enveloped the room and everyone paled, blood draining from their faces. No one spoke, waiting for the joke, waiting for someone to say, "just kidding." Only it never came. </p>
<p>"Please tell me that's a joke. Because that's not funny. At all." Johnny says, voice strained. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry." Is all Yeonjun can whisper into the silence. Doyoung is still frozen in his seat. Guilt eating away at him.</p>
<p>"Xuxi?" Jungwoo whimpered, fat tears making their way down his face. He turned to bury his face into Kun's shoulder, sobs wracking his lanky frame, sounding hollow and empty in the overcrowded room. Jaehyun's face remained stoic, although if he looked close enough, Doyoung could see his jaw clenched and his pupils shaking. He was in shock. Jaehyun was scared. Doyoung went to sit next to him, to put a hand on his shoulder, to comfort him, to do something, other than crush the water bottle in his hands. </p>
<p>He reached Jaehyun's side, his hand barely touching his back, ready to rub circles and offer what he could when Jaehyun's voice cut through the room, detached, cold and sharp, "Don't touch me." Doyoung froze, but then in a softer, much more broken and devasted voice, Jaehyun whispered, "Don't touch me" before sliding to his knees, off the couch, face in his hands, sobs wracking his frame and filling the room with all the despair and hopelessness in his heart. It was all it took for the dam to break and their dorm was filled with 22 crying men.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Cruel Jokes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Immediately, phones were confiscated from the rest of the Dream members, who are already so scandalized, and choking themselves on tears. Taemin held onto Jisung, who had cried so much in the past week, from the Dream Show, his parents surprising him and now this, silent tears running down his face, unsure of what to think. A Korean-Air flight leaving New York crashes. How many flights left New York a day for Incheon, how many Korean-Air planes departed, what were the chances it was their flight?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi guys! i'm sorry it's been so long. i just graduated college! yay!<br/>but things have been super busy and stressful, but finally, i am updating something.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Renjun's phone rang out, disturbing the quiet room. The caller ID read: Xuxi-gege. </p>
<p>"Hyung?" Renjun shakily held up his phone, afraid to answer it. Taemin, the hyung closest to the boy took the phone an answered it, before anyone could protest. They saw the managers shake their heads, but they let it slide.</p>
<p>"Hello?" He answered tentatively. </p>
<p>"Oppa, you sound different." A sickly sweet voice rang through the receiver, a voice that was distinctly female.</p>
<p>"Do I?" Taemin questioned., still posing at Renjun.</p>
<p>"Oppa, are you okay? Have you heard the news? Do you need some company?"</p>
<p>"Who are you? Why are you calling from Lucas's number?" There were some gasps in the room, hearing that it was not Xuxi on the other end of the phone. </p>
<p>"Does it matter? Oppa, what matters is how you are doing. You must be so scared, so upset. Maybe I can help." Taemin wanted to vomit and throw the phone across the room. This was sickening. </p>
<p>"I think not. If you call any of the member's numbers again, I will have you arrested. You're disgusting." Taemin hung up the phone, but it kept pinging with text notifications. He turned it on silent, but didn't give it back to Renjun. The look on his face said everything and no one questioned it. </p>
<p>Taemin couldn't believe that even the youngest members of NCT had to endure such cruelty and invasion of privacy. Up until recently, they were still underage, yet people continued to proposition them, make inappropriate comments and send them inappropriate items. When he had first debuted at 14, it hasn't nearly been as bad. These girls didn't care that Jisung had been a mere 13 years old, corrupting his young mind from the moment he was announced as a SM rookie. </p>
<p>All of the sudden, it seems that everyone's phones begin to ring and ping full of texts. The boys were all horrified to find texts and relentless calls from girls who could be nothing other than sasaeng fans, asking if they've seen the news and if they're okay, asking if they need company. The messages were vile and Taemin couldn't believe that people were taking advantage of the situation. </p>
<p>Doyoung fought a scream as his phone flooded with texts. Didn't they realize that he might never see Ten again, that he had fought with Ten and hadn't made up and now Ten might be--. Doyoung couldn't even think it. He felt sick again. Some messages are from their friends, family and seniors, but they were drowned out in the amount of incoming messages from people who should not have their numbers. </p>
<p>Someone did scream. Something shattered. Doyoung didn't think Jeno knew he was screaming. His phone now in pieces on the floor, resting below a crack, a hole in the wall. Strong arms wrapped themselves around Jeno's torso as he stood, his hand still raised from throwing him phone, to prevent him from damaging anything else, or himself. The contact was all it took for Jeno to be gasping, choking on his sobs. Doyoung hadn't even registered he had stood, he had taken his baby into his arms, but at the sound of his cries, he quickly turned him around, so he could hug him properly and let him cry. </p>
<p>Immediately, phones were confiscated from the rest of the Dream members, who are already so scandalized, and choking themselves on tears. Taemin held onto Jisung, who had cried so much in the past week, from the Dream Show, his parents surprising him and now this, silent tears running down his face, unsure of what to think. A Korean-Air flight leaving New York crashes. How many flights left New York a day for Incheon, how many Korean-Air planes departed, what were the chances it was their flight? </p>
<p>Pretty high, his mind supplies, but he can't bear to think about it more. Instead, Taemin focused his attention on the dongsaeng in his arms, hoping to ease his tears. He was glad they let him stay for the news, he knows he would've been hurt if he had found out about this any other way. There were few words to describe the feelings running through each boy's mind. </p>
<p>The sound of the door slamming shut resounded in the quiet room, echoing like a gong sounding in an empty stadium. Doyoung jumped at the sound. He looked up to see Jaehyun, Taeil and Chenle directing their stares towards the bedroom doors, looking equally torn and devastated. A quick scan of the room told him it was Johnny who had shut himself away. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Mark couldn't remember the last time they had been in an airport where there weren't thunderous screams and millions of flashes from cameras. Boarding their teacher's plane was quite relaxing a break they all needed. They marveled as they walked around the private hanger. Lee Soo Man really had spared no expense when it came to SuperM. Their accommodations had been way above what they were expecting, they ate 3 full meals (meat and rice!) every day and they had donated $50,000 to Ellen. Mark didn't even they had that kind of money. (Well, he was sure they had it, just hidden away in a deep, dark dungeon, none of them would ever find.)</p>
<p>With the private hanger, security was slightly different. The area was no less secure than a normal airport, but their bags were searched much less invasively than normal, and there was no check-in counter. They were ushered into a private area to get their boarding passes and passports checked. Taejun was handing out their passports as their names were called from the flight manifest. Mark cringed at the sight of his passport in the bright red leather case that Johnny and he had exchanged earlier in the year. Despite the cringe, his heart was warm at the memory. Mark couldn't wait to get home to see Johnny again. </p>
<p>They were ushered to another area after check in and had another private area all to themselves where they were served food and drinks. Mark cozied up next to Taeyong, who was sipping on coffee while reading a book Yuta had lent him. He was never one for skinship, but always reluctantly accepted it from primarily Donghyuck and in its absence, he found himself missing it. He leaned his head on Taeyong's shoulder, who immediately took one hand and began to card his hand through Mark's hair. It was a leader thing, or a hyung thing, Mark guessed. Baekhyun and Jongin had taken to doing the same thing in their green rooms. </p>
<p>Ten was chatting animatedly with Xuxi, who looked a bit sad. SuperM promotions had been hard on the younger. He wasn't quite fluent, or confident in English or Korean, and felt isolated for their time in America. He had trouble understanding Baekhyun, who spoke fast and jumbled and Taemin who spoke softly with a slight lisp. Ten made it his mission to make sure Xuxi wasn't feeling ostracized. In a panic one night, Xuxi had confessed he didn't know why he was chosen to be in SuperM. He wasn't amazing spectacular at anything. He had been convinced Lee Soo Man had chosen him for his visuals. Mark tried his best to assure his only same age friend, but nothing seemed to get through to him. </p>
<p>Xuxi had also been having problems keeping up with their schedule. It was much more intense than he was used to, from almost no promotions to being thrust into two groups. He was constantly tired, he was having severe back pain, from his herniated disk and he was losing his appetite. Mark wasn't sure how many times Baekhyun had caught him throwing up his dinner since it wasn't sitting right with him. He knew that Xuxi was excited to get back to Korea and back to his new bandmates. </p>
<p>While they were in the waiting area, they were served some kind of steak with a buttery sauce, mashed potatoes and asparagus. Mark could see their manager angrily typing away on his phone, before he threw it into the couch and held his head in his hands. He was stressed. Mark took his plate and went to go sit next to him. Taejun was actually one of 127's managers, and he roomed with Mark back at the dorm. </p>
<p>"Hyung, is everything alright?" Taejun wearily looked up, before hanging his head. </p>
<p>"I'm just frustrated. None of my calls or texts are going through, so I can't tell Jeongbeom or Hyunjun that we will be on a later flight. And there is no way Lee Soo Man-ssi has relayed the info, because that's our job." Mark rubbed his back sympathetically and shared his steak with the man, while they waited for their plane to be fueled and readied for take-off. </p>
<p>They played games on their phones, and made small talk amongst themselves, as they waited. Taejun went over schedules with them briefly, explaining Ten and Lucas' next flight to China and Mark and Taeyong's flight back to the US. All the flight plans were making Mark dizzy, but he supposed there wasn't much he could do, but smile and nod along. </p>
<p>Their plates had long been cleared and they had been offered drinks and snacks by the staff. Taeyong politely declined on all their behalf and asked when the plane would be ready. Thankfully, it took no more than 10 more minutes and they were being ushered to the tarmac. Lucas broke out into a run under the setting sun, and Mark couldn't help but cheer and chase after him. The air was warm and a golden glow highlighted the runway, and the jet that their teacher had commissioned looked even more grand than they had expected. </p>
<p>Mark whipped out his phone to take some pictures of Lucas looking so uninhibitedly happy and of the jet to send to Baekhyun, who would surely be jealous. </p>
<p>Baekhyun-Hyung [17.37]<br/>	[image attached]<br/>	Aren't you jealous of our ride back to Korea? </p>
<p>Mark paused. He felt a little mean bragging, so he sent another message:</p>
<p>	[17.39] Good luck in your concert! I hope the time zone hasn’t been too unkind to you and that you've regained strength. Drink water!</p>
<p>He shoved his phone back in pocket, not noticing the 'not delivered' posted underneath his message with a little red exclamation point in a circle and adjusted his carry-on which hung from his shoulder and took one last look at the scene in front of him, before boarding the plane. </p>
<p>It was beautiful. Elegant. They were all speechless. The cabin was fully furnished, with huge cushioned seats, couches, a mahogany table to match the other expensive furniture and 3 flight attendants, already asking to take their bags, and help them get settled on the plane. This was much better than business class. </p>
<p>After bowing, greeting and thanking Lee Soo Man for letting them travel back with him, they settled into their seats, chatting excitedly. Mark glanced at his watch, as they pulled out of the runway; 17:54.</p>
<p>He couldn't help but think that if they had been on their previous flight, they would've been 3 hours in, but instead they had barely begun the 15 hour flight back to Seoul, but Mark hoped his plane ride would go much smoother than their previous flights. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>There was a tug at his arm, as they walked down the hall to the elevators. Jongdae turned to see Sehun, looking impossibly small for someone of his height and stature, holding up his phone, trembling. They had the first to reach the elevators and they watched as the rest of the members filed out of their rooms sleepily. As Junmyeon approached, he was called back by their manager, so he waved the rest of them on ahead, he would meet them later.</p>
<p>"Hyung, look." Jongdae took the phone from Sehun's hand and gaped at the news article he was reading, punching in the first floor in the elevator. </p>
<p>NCT Members apart of Korean Air plane Crash?</p>
<p>"What?" Jongdae swallowed, his reply curt. That wasn't very funny, not when it involved his little brothers.</p>
<p>"Do you think it's real?" Sehun asked, his voice quiet. </p>
<p>Jongin took the phone from Jongdae and showed it to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who had crowded around trying to read the little phone screen.</p>
<p>"I don't think so, how would they even know anything about it? It's probably some sasaeng fans or those rookie reporters looking for some attention. You know how they are. Sickening and disgusting. Don't worry about it too much, until we hear something from manager-hyung." Jongdae replied, trying to ease the worry plaguing their youngest. </p>
<p>Sasaengs were the bane of their existence. They booked tickets on the same flights as them, sat next to them on flights, called them incessantly, dug up dirt from the past, they invaded their privacy with reckless abandon and caused aimless anxiety. </p>
<p>Fake news was also something they weren't unfamiliar with, unfortunately. They all had fake things spread about them, by rookie reporters, needing views, or sasaengs, whose mind was so fragile, that anything threatening their fantasies had to be combatted with malice and hate. They spread rumors, false facts, augmented truths, conjuring 'the next big thing' news stories, so they would have their claim to fame, even if only for 5 minutes. </p>
<p>Such articles were laughable at how groundless the claims were, dating news, sexuality rumors, idols being kicked out of their groups or leaving, threads threatening to expose how idols acted off camera, but even such unfounded articles have led to the uprooting idols, their groups and sometimes even their companies. </p>
<p>There was no way that was a real article, but still, Jongdae could not help feeling of dread that settled in his stomach like a rock. Baekhyun's breath hitched, reading the article. The phone slipped out of Jongin's hands when he registered the headline. How could anyone think to say such a thing. Jongdae picked the cellphone up before putting a comforting hand on Sehun and Jongin's back, as the elevator brought them down. There was no way. </p>
<p>"Hyung, they flew out of JFK." Sehun was biting his lip, hands clenched at his sides. Jongdae didn't know what to say. To think that someone would write such an article, that would make his maknae and brothers, feel so helpless and scared. Did they think it was funny? Were they really that desperate? </p>
<p>They exited the elevator and met their manager in the lobby. They expected to be ushered into the vans to get to their make-shift practice room, but their manager stood, waiting for them at the elevator. He pushed them all back into the elevator and brought them back up to the 9th floor. </p>
<p>"Hyung, what is going on? I thought we had a tight schedule today." </p>
<p>"Please," he sounded exasperated, "I'll explain when we get upstairs." The five of them were herded into Junmyeon's room. The cloud of desperation over them grew, every second of silence that passed between them. Baekhyun took out his phone to see the news, was this actually real? Why wasn't anyone saying anything? Surely, their managers had heard of this, surely they would tell them that it was a joke. </p>
<p>They were led back to Junmyeon's room in the furthest end of the hallway. Most of the staff had cleared out of the room, leaving their two managers and three of the stylist noona's who had been with them since even before their debut. Junmyeon sat on one of the beds, facing away from them, head hung low in his hands. They all crowded onto the other bed, Jongin, squishing closer to Sehun, so Baekhyun could have room to also sit. He waited for the bed to dip next to him, but when it didn't come, he looked up. </p>
<p>Baekhyun stood frozen in the center of the room, gaze fixed on his phone screen. Jongin stood up, looking over Baekhyun's shoulder, only to freeze as well. It was a Naver article, not some koreaboo or allkpop article, a Naver news article, that reported Korean Air flight 82 had crashed four hours into their flight. The image banner, was a grainy at best video clip of plane wreck, fire that was engulfing the cabin, an inferno, consuming the whole area, devouring and scintillating, embers of rubbish floating in the air, illuminated against a black backdrop of billowing, claustrophobic clouds of smoke. After tearing his eyes away from the video, Jongin read the caption, "Korean Air plane wreck, crashed in the Nunavut Canadian province. </p>
<p>Jongin didn't register the tears on his face, until his manager appeared in front of him, hand cupping his cheek, using his thumb to wipe the tears off his face. </p>
<p>"There's been a plane crash." </p>
<p>"Hyung, what-? It's true?" </p>
<p>"There's been a plane crash, and Mark, Taeyong, Yukhei, Ten and Taejun were supposed to be on it." Taejun had been a manager for EXO until Tao had left, and they moved him to be with NCT since they didn't need as managers with less members. "We don't know much of anything, right now. I know there was a possibility that they were going to fly out of California tonight, but I don't want to get your hopes up. We've tried to call and contact, but we haven't heard anything. I tried to call Jeongbeom, but calls to and from Korea, seem to be blocked. We got emails a little bit ago, and we knew it wasn't right to out you out there, where anyone could spill the news and we had to be the ones to tell you. We've been put on lockdown until further notice. I promise I will keep you updated with as much information as I can, we will be in and out of the room, trying to find out what we can, but we have to ask that you guys stay here, okay? We can't have any more rumors or things floating about the journalist circles."</p>
<p>They were silent, for a beat, before Jongin started crying again. Jongdae rose from his spot on the bed and gathered Jongin in his arms and brought him over to the couch, letting him curl up and cry. Jongin, their sweet Jongin, who had endured so much hurt, pain and loss in his short life, the softest member, who clung to his older brothers for support and love, something he had been deprived of for too long. Jongin clung to Jongdae as if he were his last lifeline. </p>
<p>Junmyeon rose from his spot on the other bed and dragged Sehun to him, as he stared, shell-shocked, into nothing. Chanyeol rose to settle Baekhyun down on the bed with him, who was still frozen in his place, a look of utter anguish and disdain painted on his face. No one knew what to say. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Taemin wasn't sure what qualification he had that made him think he could look after these kids. He wasn't used to this hyung role, having been a maknae for a decade. He had Jisung clinging to his right side, Chenle curled up against Jisung. A million thoughts were running through Taemin's mind, a thousand kilograms were weighing on his heart and he wanted nothing more than to allow himself to cry, no weep, so he could get it out of system. Holding in his tears created a lump in his throat that was painful to swallow past. He wanted to scream and cry, he wanted to laugh; that this was all some sick joke, he wanted to throw up, he wanted to fade away into oblivion, so he didn't have to feel such pain, stabbing at his heart. He gripped his arms tighter around the boy next to him. </p>
<p>Doyoung had unwound himself from Jeno, when he was sure the boy was done throwing things and attempting to injure himself and enveloped him into a hug. Doyoung sank down to the floor, shifting Jeno so he was sitting in his lap, covered by the best hug that Doyoung could offer. Jeno's face was puffy, his cheeks wet and eyes bloodshot, from crying. He wiped his nose against Doyoung's shirt, soft whimpers still escaping his lips. Doyoung paid no mind to the action, simply hugging his dongsaeng as best he could, praying that this was all some kind of sick joke. </p>
<p>Taemin shifted, standing up from the couch. Everyone watched him move, their eyes questioning and wet. As he stood, Jisung latched onto him like a koala, hiding his head in Taemin's shoulder still softly crying. Taemin nudged Chenle to get up and went around to Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin. Renjun was curled up next to Kun. Jaemin was next to Yuta, staring listlessly at the wall. He brought them all to a room in the back hallway, so they could be away from the discussion he knew the older members were going to need to have and so hopefully, they could rest. Even if it wasn't a fitful sleep, maybe they could sleep through at least some of this nightmare, until more details arose. </p>
<p>There as silence after Taemin took the Dream members to one of the rooms in the back. He had left Donghyuck with Taeil because he knew that the boy was also in 127 and Taeil looked like he needed Donghyuck as much as Donghyuck was clinging onto him. To Donghyuck's left was Kun. He had Jungwoo pressed against his side, still quietly crying, face buried in the fabric of Kun's shirt. Doyoung had placed himself in between Kun's legs, now that Jeno had gone with Taemin. He looked like he was about to be sick (again), staring at the wall, expression numb. </p>
<p>Jaehyun stood from his seat on the floor in the corner and reached for the TV remote. No one stopped him from putting on the news. He didn't have to flip through more than 2 channels to find the news. It was a reporter he had seen frequently on this channel. She was young and pretty, but a ghost of sadness took over the studio as she spoke about the crash. Jaehyun was glad he wasn't the only feeling like someone had ripped the carpet out from underneath him, like someone had stolen all the oxygen in his lungs. She was struggling to report, just as much as he was struggling to live. </p>
<p>The news cut to a scene of fiery smoke, billows of dark clouds and helicopters and emergency crew rushing on site. Reading the caption, it was somewhere in Canada that Jaehyun had never heard before, the Korean Air plane, in pieces and on fire. There was no way there were survivors and his heart shriveled up even more. Sicheng had all the new members curled up against him. Their faces were conflicted with sadness and confusion. They hadn't spent all that much time in Korea yet and had met Mark in passing, and Taeyong had always been kind, sending them encouragement, and homemade food with Ten and Xuxi when they had dropped by to visit. </p>
<p>Their faces were wet with tears from their fallen bandmates, but looked too drained, too ghostly, too lifeless to emote anything else. Yang Yang wailed at the TV, at the wreck of the plane, burying his face back into Sicheng's side. Sicheng made them all stand and took them to Taemin in the back room. They were young too, and needed to try and rest before anything else happened, before they made themselves sick. He stayed with them, letting Yang Yang resettle against him, watching Xiaojun crawl up against Renjun and Hendery join Chenle.  </p>
<p>None of the Dreamies were asleep. They all seemed to be in a state of half-there, half-unaware, and the room was drenched with despair and the inexplicable smell of tears and sadness. It was heavy, too heavy and Sicheng felt like he couldn't breathe. He knew his face didn't show it and his tears hadn't fallen, but he felt like a bomb, ready to explode, ready to fight and take on God, to beg for his bandmates lives. </p>
<p>Jaehyun felt his heart sink with each scene that played on the screen. How could anyone videotape such a thing? He wondered if Taeyong, Mark, Xuxi and Ten were there. God. Taeyong, his leader, the glue that held them all together, even when he felt like falling apart himself. Despite being two years younger than Taeyong, they were still the best of friends. It was a weird dynamic, Jaehyun couldn't lie. The "hyung" thing got in the every so often, mostly in the form of who was going to pay and Taeyong pouting at Jaehyun to act cute or get him something when he didn't feel like getting up.</p>
<p>Mark was his soulmate. His platonic other half. They even played a game on idol room as to who really was his other half. Jungwoo, poor Jungwoo, had so much love in his heart for one of his only dongsaengs, but couldn't express it enough in front of the MCs. Jaehyun looked up to see Jungwoo still crying, and Jaehyun was afraid he would make himself sick.</p>
<p>Their relationship was something special. Similar to him and Taeyong, only Jaehyun had the opportunity to be the hyung. For the first few years, it was an awkward transition. He had gone from being the youngest and an only child to having to learn the ins and outs of being the older one, being mature and responsible, someone reliable for Jungwoo, Mark and Donghyuck. When Jaehyun had first met Mark, he was this small, little kid who was mildly conversational in Korean, and for the longest time only clung to Johnny, scared of everyone else. He was lost and confused, and often forgot his manners. Unintentionally of course, but it was hard for his young mind to always remember to bow or accept things with two hands. His Korean was limited and for the longest time, all he knew was informal speech. Jaehyun wasn't sure how it had happened, but Mark had become his best friend. </p>
<p>Yukhei, sweet Yukhei. Admittedly, Jaehyun hadn't seen much of him since he had debuted in 127. He was always practicing on his own, or with Kun. He was also quite close to Jungwoo. When they were first announced as rookies and later as full-fledged NCT members, Jaehyun hadn't seen very much of Yukhei. </p>
<p>As much as Jaehyun's heart was hurting, he knew that Johnny, all alone in his room, was equally hurting, with no one to hold him. After years of weekly night night's with him, Jaehyun liked to think he knew Johnny well. Jaehyun picked himself up and knocked on Johnny's door. There was no answer, but Jaehyun gently pushed the door open anyways. This wasn't a time for isolation.</p>
<p>------</p>
<p>Everyone was on lockdown. No one in and no one out of the hotel. Baekhyun found himself, along with the rest of the members herded into Junmyeon's suite in the hotel and they weren't to leave until further notice. Baekhyun was curled up in a ball on the couch in Junmyeon's hotel room. There wasn't much anyone could say to make him feel better. Jongin was locked in the bathroom, Chanyeol trying to coax him out, or to at least unlock the door. Jongin had suffered too much loss in his short life to bear the loss of four more. </p>
<p>Junmyeon was constantly on the phone, trying to find out any information to ease his members. Yixing had called earlier, in tears, asking for information. He had always treated their NCT dongsaengs to food and extra love and attention. Sehun was on the phone, and from what Baekhyun could hear, it was Johnny, who was inconsolable. Baekhyun longed for Kyungsoo and Minseok. The two most level headed people after Junmyeon in their group of nine. Kyungsoo was a silent but firm rock, a foundation and support the rest of them relied on heavily. His absence was a deafening blow to their hearts. And Minseok. Baekhyun's oldest hyung. Baekhyun wished that Minseok were there beside them in Jakarta, rather than on some military base in Korea. He wished that Minseok could be next to him, offering reassurances only he could utter. </p>
<p>Jongdae sat next to Baekhyun on the couch, pulling him closer, so Baekhyun could lean on his shoulder, curled up against his chest. Four of his members, and Baekhyun had absolutely no information on them at all. There was this sinking, heavy pit in his stomach. He wanted to scream, to cry, to call out to God, to punch something, he wanted to do something. He wished it were him on the plane instead of them. They left the news on, on Junmyeon's small hotel TV, hoping, waiting for any information about the flight. It was the cruelest waiting game they had ever had to play. </p>
<p>Baekhyun felt like there was something in his chest, clawing to come out. It built as a bubble in his stomach, to a lump in his throat and soon he was biting his hand to keep the sob from ripping out of his chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>in truth, this has been completed for a little while and remained unchanged, but i was not quite satisfied with it. i'm not sure i am satisfied yet, but my creativity has run dry and i can't think of any other progression than this for what i have in mind. </p>
<p>as always,<br/>Come say hi to me! <a href="https://twitter.com/peachydoyo">twt</a><br/>i run a bullet journal account! <a href="https://instagram.com/peachydoyo">here!</a></p>
<p>As you all know, there has been a lot of protests going on, protests that matter and need your help and signatures. I beg you all to help our brothers and sisters by donating if you can and signing petitions for those whose voice has been forcefully taken away. Thanks!<br/><a href="https://moreblminfo.carrd.co/">donate and sign</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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